Posts Tagged ‘romance editor’

I picked this up on Facebook the other day. What,  do, you, think? 😀

lea schafer, editor, editing, freelance editor, romance line editor, friday funnies, commas

lea schafer, editor, freelance editor, romance editorMuch has been said about judging a book by its cover. Nowadays, at least in the area of commercial fiction, a book is judged almost as much by its beginnings as it is its cover. Yes, the cover attracts our eye, but if the first few pages can’t hold our interest, that’s a DNF — Did Not Finish, a big black mark on your record with a reader. So how do you get a good beginning?

Who the Characters Are Now

The first thing we need is to establish where the characters are in their lives right now. If we don’t know where they are now, we can’t be interested in what the conflict means in their lives. How do we get to know them? No via an info dump! Remember:

– what they do reveals who they are

– what they say reveals who they are

– what they observe reveals who they are

jrw-cover-dl-medInstead of telling the reader who your characters are now, let their actions, dialogue, and observations reveal their personality and the way they view life. Let’s look at an example from an author who is arguably one of the most — if not the most — popular paranormal romance author today, JR Ward. The book that started her paranormal career, Dark Lover, begins like this:

Darius looked around the club, taking in the teeming, half-naked bodies on the dance floor. Screamer’s was packed tonight, full of women wearing leather and men who looked like they had advanced degrees in violent crime.

Darius and his companion fit right in.

Except they actually were killers.

What do we learn here? Of course, where our pov character is right now, in a not so nice club/bar. We learn without being told how our pov character (and his companion) look — “like they had advanced degrees in violent crime.” If they fit right in, and this is what the men around them look like, it’s a given that this is what they look like. We also learn how our pov character sees himself: “they actually were killers.” It doesn’t tell us they killed someone, who, or why. It says they are killers. One other thing. They might be in a club called Screamer’s, fitting right in with the others who look like killers, but we know Darius isn’t your typical criminal. Why? Because most criminals do not use having advanced degrees as a comparison. So Darius is educated.

That’s a lot of description in very few words, and none of it is outright telling.

Drop the Reader into the Action

During my vacation last week, I was discussing beginnings with a much older friend who loves Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander series. Though my friend was old-school when it came to fiction, he said something interesting. He said he finds himself skipping description because it gets too tedious. This is the rule for commercial fiction today: drop the reader into the action.

Yes, some very popular authors, well-established authors, can get away with long descriptions, but most cannot, not anymore. Our need for speed has transferred itself to the area of fiction, and our readers want the story to MOVE. Five pages of setting won’t fly with today’s reader. You must establish the characters, their conflict, and the purpose of the story in five pages, not the setting or the characters’ looks. Action first; sprinkle the rest in over time.

Starting at the beginning isn’t necessarily starting with action either. Do we need to know about someone coming into a room, settling down in a chair, fiddling with the cushions…or do we want them to get on with the gossip they’re about to spill to Susie May? Unless you’re setting up a particular mood for a very good reason, don’t start when the character comes through the door — start with the juicy stuff.

macrieveAnother example, perhaps? How about Kresley Cole‘s fabulous MacRieve? The book begins with a prologue, but note Cole doesn’t start with description. She drops us right into the moment of greatest conflict for our hero in that period of his life:

In a dark forest, in a dour land, stood an enchanted cottage. Within it, Uilleam MacRieve was about to bicker with his mate, Lady Ruelle.

Yet again.

Cole has already told us this even occurred centuries ago via the heading. Her first sentence gives us setting, yes, but in such a way as to set up the conflict — we have what is essentially a fairy-tale setting, including an enchanted cottage, but what is occurring inside isn’t the joy between mates that we normally associate with such a setting. Instead, we have a bickering couple. All is not  well in our fairy-tale land.

Know the Important Stuff

What is the important stuff?

– goals

– motivation

– conflict

– stakes

Most authors establish these important details for themselves in the plotting process. The things is, it isn’t just the author who needs to know them; it’s the reader. Why? Because if we don’t know there are stakes involved, we won’t care about the characters, and if we don’t care about the characters…well, you know what happens. The “important stuff” is what makes us care about what happens in this story. At the end of five pages, if I don’t know something is at stake, that the characters need something and can’t get it/accomplish it, I’m not invested in the story. We have a short window of time to make the reader care enough to keep reading, and GMC/S helps us do that.

Now, do all four of these have to be spelled out explicitly? No. Your character can have some secrets. Do we have to know, as a reader, that they have a motivation, even if we don’t know what it is? Yes. Do we have to know they have a goal? Yes, even if we don’t know exactly what that goal is, or even if we’re mistaken or misled as to their goal. A directionless character is as uninteresting as a motionless character. Don’t just move them; move them for a reason — and let us know something really bad is going to happen if they don’t achieve that goal.

So there you are, a few things that can take the beginning of your story from “meh” to “wow!” Take a look at the beginning of your WIP. Does it show your characters instead of tell? Does it drop us into the middle of the action? Does it establish GMC/S? If not, try focusing on these three things to create a truly great beginning for your story.

– Lea


lea schafer, freelance editor, romance editor, semicolon usage, rules for semicolons, self-editingYou don’t have to be afraid of this seemingly complicated bit of punctuation — and you don’t have to hate it either. Semicolons, like all punctuation, have their uses, and they’re probably not as complicated as you might think.

Chicago Manual of Style has specific rules regarding the semicolon: five entries, to be exact. But in reality, those five entries boil down to two uses for the semicolon. That’s right, TWO. Two can’t be that difficult to remember, people! And just so you have no excuses, I’m going to explain what those two uses are.

First, dividing independent clauses.

Sounds important, right? You’re probably sitting there thinking, What the heck is an independent clause? Really it’s just a fancy way of saying a complete sentence. A semicolon may be used between two complete sentences instead of a period. Why would you do this?

A semicolon is used when the two sentences are closely related. Here’s the example CMOS gives:

She spent much of her free time immersed in the ocean; no mere water-resistant watch would do.

The first sentence explains the second; there’s a direct connection. She is in the water a lot, so her watch has to be more than simply water-resistant. Now, if the sentences were not connected, you would use a period (and most likely a new paragraph), like this:

She spent much of her free time immersed in the ocean. Her car is blue.

Does she use her car to drive to the ocean? Probably. But that connection isn’t made in these two sentences. They should be separate. Hence, the period.

Second, dividing elements in a complicated list.

Note the word “complicated.” When you go to the grocery store, you get ham, biscuits, and eggs. You don’t get ham; biscuits; and eggs. this is a simple list, straightforward, with nothing included that would confuse the reader. Now look at this sentence:

She had several things on her list to do today: run to the DMV, stand in line, and get her license renewed; spend two hours at the hairdresser having her hair washed, colored, and styled; and go by the grocery store to pick up ham, biscuits, and eggs.

Notice all the internal punctuation here? Each task on the list involves multiple steps. What if we used commas instead?

She had several things on her list to do today: run to the DMV, stand in line, and get her license renewed, spend two hours at the hairdresser having her hair washed, colored, and dried, and go by the grocery store to pick up ham, biscuits, and eggs.

Confusing? Yes. the semicolon makes clear what is involved in each stop, prevent us from thinking this person will be styled while going to the grocery store. The list is complicated, but with a semicolon, it can easily be made clear.

A word about dialogue.

I won’t get into the issues surrounding comma splices today (if you don’t know what that is, don’t worry; we’ll cover it another day — see how I did that semicolon thing? 🙂 ). However, semicolons are very useful in dialogue. Often writers feel it is more natural to run spoken sentences together, separating with just a comma, to make the dialogue sound more natural. The period gives a hard stop, so it sometimes feels too heavy for everyday dialogue. Here’s an example:

“No, I have cake. You keep your cookie.”

And with a comma:

“No, I have cake, you keep your cookie.”

This sentence could be seen as flowing well. The comma is incorrect, however, because “No, I have cake” is a complete sentence. Notice how closely related these two sentences are? What did we learn about that above? Yes, a semicolon works here, giving the more pause-like feeling of a comma, but still grammatically correct. See?

“No, I have cake; you keep your cookie.”

We don’t have the hard pause of a period, and we don’t have the incorrect comma. We have a compromise, and it works well. Try it the next time you don’t want a hard stop in your dialogue.

And that’s it, short and sweet! Not all punctuation has to give you headaches, least of all the lowly semicolon. The comma, on the other hand…


– Lea

*Photo courtesy of Memphis CVB

lea schafer, editor, editing, freelance editing, dictionary, spelling, line editing, line editorThe worst? Well, in my opinion, anyway. There are some things no one is going to get a hundred percent right because, contrary to what they want to think, even the “experts” don’t necessarily know and can’t agree on what is “right” (*glaring at commas here*). But there is one thing you can do right all the time (with a little bit of help) and at least one thing you should do wrong occasionally. Want to know what they are?

First, the one thing you should always do right: spelling. Let’s face it, a misspelled word looks bad; it just does. Mixing up those homophones? Bad. Using the wrong verb tense (yes, I consider this a spelling issue, and I’ll tell you why)? Bad. Why is it bad? Because it is the most easily fixable editing problem around, and some writers are just too lazy to do anything about it.

I would say up to twenty percent of my time on an edit (occasionally more) is spent checking spelling. But we learned how to spell in school, right? Doesn’t spell check fix most of that? Um, no. Too often spell check misses words used out of context but spelled correctly, or underlines words that are spelled correctly but aren’t recognized in spell check’s dictionary. And though many of us learned to spell in school, not everyone has an affinity for spelling (just as everyone — me! — doesn’t have an affinity for math, and that’s okay). Not to mention, whether we like it or not, spelling and what’s acceptable language change over time. Twenty years ago none of the tech-savvy words we take for granted now even existed. You have to do your research, and trust me, nothing shows an editor that you care about the quality of your work better than using correct spelling.

Why? Because if you’ve taken the time to check spelling throughout your ms, you’ve more than likely taken the same amount of care with other areas of your craft.

lea schafer, editing, line editing, editor, line editor, freelance editor, spelling, dictionary, Merriam-WebsterSo what’s the easiest way to get spelling right? First, don’t just rely on spell check, and don’t rely on your memory. Use a dictionary. My preference is for Merriam-Webster (M-W), whose latest edition is available both for free online ( and as a free app for your phone. I use American Heritage Dictionary as a backup ( There’s also an interesting site called OneLook Dictionary that links to multiple dictionaries, so that if you can’t find a word in one, you might find it in another (

A word of caution: sites like Wikipedia and Wordnik and Free Dictionary and such are not official sources. Stick with a well-known, reputable dictionary for your work. And yes, I know different dictionaries spell words differently. The Oxford English Dictionary, for example, emphasizes British spellings, while M-W shows the British spellings as variants, not the primary listing. So if you are British, stick with the Oxford. If you are American, stick with a dictionary that uses primarily American spellings, or marks British spellings clearly (M-W does both of the latter). Personally, as an editor, I would prefer you choose one professional, established dictionary and stick to it. A line editor (like me) can conform your spelling to the house style of your publisher if it differs. It’s also better to work with an online version where possible, since those are typically the latest update, whereas paper copies quickly become outdated and must be replaced at least yearly.

Dictionaries are the best place to figure out which homophone you need, which tense of a verb is considered correct now (leapt versus leaped, etcetera), and even which words are usually hyphenated and which are not. If you are looking for a compound noun and it isn’t listed in the dictionary, it is spelled with a space. This is why “bar stool” (which is not listed in M-W) is spelled with a space. If you use American Heritage, it is listed as “barstool.” Does it count against you if you use the wrong version? Not in my opinion. Again, some words differ from dictionary to dictionary, but using a dictionary consistently will vastly improve your spelling. In M-W, you can even see which prefixes are typically hyphenated by looking up the prefix followed by a hyphen (such as “pre-“). The entry will often be followed by a list of words using that prefix, and even if your word isn’t on it, you can get a sense of whether that prefix is typically hyphenated or not. The prefix “over-” does not have every word listed, but you can check what is listed and see that none of them include hyphens. That’s your clue that this prefix typically isn’t hyphenated. (Note: You can find rules for using prefixes and other such spelling issues in the Chicago Manual of Style (CMOS), which also has an online website but is a paid service. See

Now, for that “thing” you should do wrong occasionally.

The English language is all about following an established, convoluted set of rules, getting those things “right.” And let’s face it, not all the experts can agree on those rules. Even CMOS contains gray areas that are open to interpretation or outright say “if preferred.” There is some leeway. Not to mention, in everyday life most people don’t talk according to the rules. Which is why I don’t think you should always follow the rules when it comes to writing dialogue for your characters. Yes, this is where I think “doing it wrong” can give your writing the authenticity and feeling it needs to be great.

lea schafer, editor, editing, line editor, line editing, freelance editor, dialogueTake contractions, for instance. Yes, there are rules for contractions, but in formal writing, contractions are frowned upon. That’s why speaking without contractions sounds like you are British royalty (not to mention the use of the pronoun “we” instead of “I”). But normal people talk normally, casually, and use many contractions. They also slur their words together. “Gonna” isn’t in the dictionary, but how many kids do you know that say, “I’m gonna do it anyway”? They don’t typically say, “I am going to do it anyway.” In fact, they might even tack on an “s” to that “anyway” to sound even more authentic. Which one do you think a reader wants to hear? Well, that depends on your character, right? If he’s a six-year-old Southerner, he’s “gonna do it anyways,” but if he’s a royal prince, he might go with the formal version. You have to write dialogue that’s authentic to the character, not to the rules of language. Write like someone would speak, given their background and education level and immediate situation, not how the perfect rules of language demand things be.


I know; I know. There are a ton of protests in your mind, exceptions, ambiguities, and even the occasional downright “I don’t wanna!” That’s okay. I still think, for the majority of your writing, these two concepts are a must:

Use a dictionary for the best spelling you can get.

Don’t always conform to grammar rules if you want authentic dialogue.

We’ll get into more specific topics, cover thoroughly issues like punctuating dialogue and word choice and a mountain of other things as the months go on. There’s no end to the issues being debated in the English language. But for now, know that these are, in my opinion (and we all know about having those 🙂 ), good “rules” to follow. How about you? Anything you see as a major mistake when you read a book? Any rules you feel hindered your writing as you grew your skills? Anything you think is more important than the two ideas I’ve listed here? Tell me about it. You never know — I might just agree with you.

– Lea


*Final photo courtesy of Håkan Dahlström.

lea schafer, editing, editor, self-editing, fiction, writingFiguring out what needs to be tweaked in your manuscript is difficult to do. After all, you’ve lived with your “baby” for months, sometimes years on end. You know it intimately, and as with a child, it can be difficult to see past the wonder of your creation to the flaws that must be fixed. So where do you turn? Perhaps a critique partner?

A good CP is worth their weight in gold! They bring a fresh eye to the work you are too close to see objectively. And because they are so precious, it’s important not to take advantage of their generosity. Never send an unedited manuscript to your critique partner. Why? Because many of the flaws that weren’t obvious to you take no more than a second pass to see for yourself. Show your CP you value their time by sending them the best you can do so far, not your first effort.

So if you need to edit your rough draft, but you don’t want to get advice from your CP (yet!), what do you do? I believe it’s important for every author to continually educate yourself about the skills involved in your craft — and I practice what I preach! I’m constantly reading craft books and articles, searching for ways to better my writing and better help the authors I edit see where their manuscripts can be improved. There are more books about the various aspects of writing out there than we can probably count, but there are a couple of general books that I have found useful when educating myself. Take a look and see if one of these might just help you:

lea schafer, editing, editor, self-editing, fiction, self-editing for fiction writers, renni browne, dave kingSelf-editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne & Dave King


“Hundreds of books have been written on the art of writing. Here at last is a book by two professional editors to teach writers the techniques of the editing trade that turn promising manuscripts into published novels and short stories.

In this completely revised and updated second edition, Renni Browne and Dave King teach you, the writer, how to apply the editing techniques they have developed to your own work. Chapters on dialogue, exposition, point of view, interior monologue, and other techniques take you through the same processes an expert editor would go through to perfect your manuscript. Each point is illustrated with examples, many drawn from the hundreds of books Browne and King have edited.”

Self-editing for Fiction Writers is easily the best book I’ve ever read on revising your own work — and the most recommended (for very good reason). Browne and King have an easy-to-read style that doesn’t bother with lofty prose. They tell it like it is and include a ton of examples to help you understand each concept. There are exercises at the end of each chapter as well. Whether you just completed your first book or your fifth, this is a must read for all writers.

lea schafer, editing, editor, self-editing, fiction, techniques of the selling writer, Dwight SwainTechniques of the Selling Writer by Dwight V. Swain


Techniques of the Selling Writer provides solid instruction for people who want to write and sell fiction, not just to talk and study about it. It gives the background, insights, and specific procedures needed by all beginning writers. Here one can learn how to group words into copy that moves, movement into scenes, and scenes into stories; how to develop characters, how to revise and polish, and finally, how to sell the product.

No one can teach talent, but the practical skills of the professional writer’s craft can certainly be taught. The correct and imaginative use of these kills can shorten any beginner’s apprenticeship by years. This is the book for writers who want to turn rejection slips into cashable checks.”

In addition to some of the points Browne and King discuss, such as characterization, Swain discusses broader issues for modern writers, such as conflict and story arc. He also discusses at the beginning of his book some of the “why” and “how” behind our chosen career. Why should a writer bother writing if it’s so hard? How can a writer reduce the painful trial-and-error period of learning to write well? Not as easy a read as Browne and King’s book, but definitely worth your time.

lea schafer, editor, editing, fiction, self-editing, the first five pages, noah lukemanThe First Five Pages by Noah Lukeman


“Whether you are a novice writer or a veteran who has already had your work published, rejection is often a frustrating reality. Literary agents and editors receive and reject hundreds of manuscripts each month. While it’s the job of these publishing professionals to be discriminating, it’s the job of the writer to produce a manuscript that immediately stands out among the vast competition. And those outstanding qualities, says New York literary agent Noah Lukeman, have to be apparent from the first five pages.

The First Five Pages reveals the necessary elements of good writing, whether it be fiction, nonfiction, journalism, or poetry, and points out errors to be avoided[…] With exercises at the end of each chapter, this invaluable reference will allow novelists, journalists, poets and screenwriters alike to improve their technique as they learn to eliminate even the most subtle mistakes that are cause for rejection. The First Five Pages will help writers at every stage take their art to a higher — and more successful — level.”

Lukeman’s book covers a plethora of topics that can hinder a writer’s manuscript from being its best. Though Lukeman focuses more on literary fiction as opposed to commercial fiction, his explanations of each topic are perfect for beginners who need information on both overarching concepts and basics like word choice, all in one place, and his examples and ending exercises make it easy to see exactly what he’s talking about. A fast, easy-to-understand read.

As I said above, these are just a few of the hundreds of books to choose from. Once you’ve identified the areas in your writing that need the most work, you can find books devoted just to that area, whether it be dialogue or characterization or grammar. Ask your writer friends what books or other resources helped them as well. The one key is to never stop learning and growing in your craft.

Be sure and check back May 1st for the next installment of the blog. Next month, the worst grammar mistakes you can make!

– Lea

*Top photo courtesy of idan586.